Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize