They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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