I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
