Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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