kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
