Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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