Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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