Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
What a dumb baby whore.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
