I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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