Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize