There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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