maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize