told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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