thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
