can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and you said cock pushups were impossible
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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