We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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