The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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