why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
