We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
