Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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