Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We are two peas in an std pod
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.