I heard we made out
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.