so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing