I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
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It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
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Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you