if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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