how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
