Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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