U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
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What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
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He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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