Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
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is wine microwaveable?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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