6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
