Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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