I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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