R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
People in love make me want to vomit
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao