Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.