In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize