I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
