yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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