A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
