I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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