I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
