dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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