Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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