i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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