YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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