Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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