Me too!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
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Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize