I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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