she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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