ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...