I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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