It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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