I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
