and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm sobbing to NWA
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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