Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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